I wasn't born, a request
encouraged by the treatment
I received once my brother
Was gone
Five years apart he was the older
Of the two, since his departure
My sky's are no longer blue
Gifts rained upon him as if
A Christmas cloud hovered
Above his head, saturated
With talents so hatred made
My brothers bed
Abused by the fact I couldn't
Fill his abnormal sized shoes,
Gifted in other areas places in which
My father felt wasn't true
Plagued with Disturbing
memories of my childhood
Nights, induced by his hands
Which usually left me venting
To Christ
Alcohol aided his thought of
Wishing me and my brother
Switched places, I'm wounded
With the facts that I'll will
Never be his favorite
Trained to believe I'm
The reason for him losing
A son, a loss which clouds
His memory of having a
Second one
Many unsuccessful attempts
To take my own life, a strategy
I've drawn up the only one I
Feel would hand me a victory
In this domestic fight
Punished by birth due to
The fact I wasn't his
First, a truth I'm reminded
Of daily he verbally expresses
I'm his physical curse
It gets worse.....
My mother was also
hurt.....
She grew tired of living with
Pain, through her eyes I had
The resemblance of dirt
I was the pain she felt
Turned her insane, so she
Took her own life with
Thought of my brothers
Taken in vain
Punished by birth still as
An adult I live with
This, constant pain from
Open wounds ones that
Will never ever be stitched
Punished by birth
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